“He has a Marseilles accent!” : 7 video game voice-overs to lose your hearing

Game News “He has a Marseilles accent!” : 7 video game voice-overs to lose your hearing

As you know, in a video game – focused above all on the story – the voiceovers are of paramount importance! Why yes, imagine The Last of Us or God of War with duck voices, or worse, interpretations that are completely out of place. Unthinkable, you say? Well, check out this article, where headlines push the boundaries of bad taste. Come on let’s go!

In the absurd dub category, let’s start with a classic. Sure, you know Metal Gear Solid, the famous action-infiltration under license owned by Konami – and still recently directed by Hideo Kojima… Here, we are talking about the episode released in 1999 (Europe) on PS1, which will give the series his letters of nobility. The main character, Solid Snake, must then infiltrate a base to rescue the hostages. Cake for an overtrained soldier? Well, it was without counting on the protagonists al sharp nib. In Metal Gear Solid, we can thus hear “your eyes are blue, bluer than the sky”; or even a whole tirade about the “Eskimo-Indian Olympics”, culminating in the cult “do you want us to stick out our ears?”. Not only is the writing enjoyable, but the French voice acting adds a nice layer to it.

  • Find the Metam Gear Solid dub from 1min40 in the autoplay video.

Binary Domain (2012 – PC, PS3, 360)

Let’s move on to another candidate who won’t let you down. So here comes Binary Domain, released in 2012 on PC, PS3, Xbox 360 and developed by Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio (Yakuza)! A very serious software, at least in appearance. Here, the story revolves around robot-humans who have infiltrated the ranks of a futuristic Tokyo. Naturally, a team is in charge of investigating the problem. The governments of the world get involved, as well as the right arm of the President of the USA. A character who of course comes to us from Marseille ! Yes, in a meeting about an actively wanted fugitive, his singsong accent evokes “Yoji Amada, a recognized genius in the field of artificial intelligence and founder of the Amada company.” After all, why not having studied in the south of France to land in the United States and then, icing on the cake, in Japan.

  • Find the 6min15 Binary Domain dub in the autoplay video.

Haven: Call of the King (2002 – PS2, Xbox, Gamecube)

As long as we’re talking about accents that seem out of step with the world of a video game, let’s continue with Haven: Call of the King, developed by Traveller’s Tales. But yeah, you know, the studio that develops all the Lego adaptations today (Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, etc.)! Long before his great passion for bricks, the team offers here an adventure platform game in which the protagonist, Haven, has to save his people from slavery. It’s original, there are many genres mixing, like puzzle, shoot’em up, racing. But this melting pot goes further with a talking hero French with an English accent. And we’re not talking about a nice accent à la George Stobbart – in the Chevalier de Baphomet – but a kind of yoghurt that isn’t pleasant to listen to or even well interpreted. On this score, other heroes are not left out.

  • Find the Haven dub from 4min00 in the autoplay video.

Dynasty Warriors 3 (2002 – PS2, Xbox)

We are now entering a dangerous area, that of the worst French dubbing. And here comes a serious representative, Dynasty Warriors 3. You need to know the principle of these action games developed by the Omega Force team. It’s very simple, you have to defeat as many enemies as possible with big weapons. We are here in ancient China, at the time of the Three Kingdoms. The fall of the Han family then led to a revolt against the Empire, led by one Zhang Jiao… Regardless of the kingdom in question, it therefore takes soldiers skilled in combat to achieve victory. Skilled at combat, perhaps, but clearly not at voice acting! We really need hear it to believe it, to such an extent that it is – there are no other words – sounded wrong. So yes, you will please your ears with nearly 10 minutes of footage, thanks Omega Force.

  • Find the Dynasty Warriors dub from 10min55 in the autoplay video.

Gabriel Knight 2 (1995 – PC)

Come on, yet another one on the street, still in the disaster acting category. That’s for sure, you probably don’t know Gabriel Knight: The Beast Within – second episode of the homonymous FMV series (full motion video). At its core, it’s a point-and-click detective game, but shot with real actors. So, “real actors” on the screen in VO, maybe, but in VF, it’s just a disaster. Our time trial speaks for itself. “On two or three occasions, you’ll hear the voice actor say that he forgot the end of the line and can’t read himself anymore, without it being cut during editing. The quality of the voice acting itself is quite questionable, especially when dealing with caricatured German accents”! Want to see it in person? Well, there’s only one thing to do. Happy listening!

  • Find the Dynasty Warriors dub from 5min05 in the autoplay video.

Two Worlds 2 (2010 – PC, PS3, 360)

Been to Two Worlds? It’s a rather popular RPG that had happy days – or not, depending on the case – of PC and Xbox 360 in 2017. Its sequel arrived three years later (plus a PS3 version) that’s what we interested today. You will understand, level voice acting, it’s not good at all. The video offered in auto-play shows you – for example – a lunar scene where a guard, clearly alarmed by an imminent danger, goes to report it to her master, who unfortunately also plays like a foot. Suddenly, it is difficult to realize what is at stake, to invest emotionally in an adventure that nevertheless sees things in a big way. Why yes, even though he doesn’t quite have the build, Two Worlds at the time was boxing in the same category as Oblivion and Gothic. We’ll say that his bad French dub didn’t help.

  • Find the Two Worlds 2 dub from 9min45 on the autoplay video.

Chaos Wars (2006 – PS2)

Do you want more ? Then another candidate, Chaos Wars. It is a tactical RPG that comes across as a cross between several video games and RPGs (Shadow Hearts, Blazing Souls and Growlanser Spectral Souls Resurrection of the Ethereal Empires). In short, all the cards in hand to create a good game? On paper yes, but in practice no. On the sidelines of Chaos Wars getting a 64 (about 13/20) from Metacritic, the voice acting is simply out of place, in English! But for once there is an explanation. According to Kotaku, the CEO of O3 Entertainment – the company behind this RPG – a certain Chris Jelinek, has hired some family members embody characters! Inevitably, even with all the good will in the world, when you don’t know how to act, or you don’t know how to act!

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